Dirty Little Secrets
Something I discovered some years ago was that the women on the maternal side of my family's trauma and depression show up as clutter and hoarding.
Recently I looked around and was completely overwhelmed, not by the chaos I had let manifest, but by the work that would be needed to restore order. I remember saying, out loud, that it was time to start “living like a grown up“.
But you know what?
I ain't do shit about it. Like. I tidied an extra space or two, but nothing to high-five myself about.
Then my daughter said that she needed to move back. Ay no problem. I got a little extra motivation. Had a truck come by and haul away stuff that was no longer “sparking joy“. I thought I had really done something.
My daughter gets back, and that first night we had a real heart to heart about what had been going on with me. How she battled that seemingly hereditary trait. And she asked how she can help me get back on track.
And then she worked all of my nerves. AWLAHDEM!
She wasted no time making room for her things in the kitchen and dining room. But, unlike my mother who just chucked everything (which is why I only have like 7 pictures of myself between 1972 and 2006), I'd get downstairs in the morning and find a neat gathering of “do you really need this?” in the middle of the floor.
After that first night there was no discussion, just action. My breakfast room is now an extended pantry. The dining room doubles as an extended kitchen/videography space.
But then she hit the garage. And I have never been so simultaneously irked and overjoyed in my whole antiyah life.
I still have to tackle all the paper for shredding in my office, but I'm chipping away at it day by day. It feels good. It also highlighted that actively blocking off time to devote to this is something that needs to occur.
Another area this hit me is in my business life. Coming up out of this funk not only helped with productivity, but definitely with clarity. I'm a lot more comfortable with committing to decisions… to letting go of what no longer serves me… and what hinders my service to clients and others.
Piecemealing this transition and transformation isn't going to work. It's time to stop everything, tear it all apart, then rebuild a leaner, restructured business model. At some point, I am going stealth mode. I am now totally comfortable with the fact that not everyone who reads this post is going to still be on my list when I come back.
I'm documenting this transformation, and it starts right here. Because when I'm not right, I can't show up fully in business.
There's no shame in acknowledging when and where you are a mess. You don't have to make a public declaration, but being honest with yourself and in your journey is key. It's why the first section of the biz organizeher™ starts with Your Self.
So… if you know you have to remove some things, go ahead and do it now. Prolonging it is just delaying your happiness and success… and ultimately your money.
Take care of you.
Until next time,